Post Nuclear Year In Review

I started this blog back in November of 2014, so the vast majority of it’s life has taken place over the last year. It’s strange to look back on it, or really even to look back at 2015 at all. 2015 was the year that the most things changed for me (except maybe the first year of my life, because those changes are a BIG DEAL) and it was the year that very nearly killed me. As it comes to a close, it feels like it must have been at least three years.
But it wasn’t.
Here on the blog, I published a whopping TWENTY-FIVE posts, but everyone forgives me because I had that whole BABY thing going on as well. We mostly talked about the weird culture of parenting, and all the weird ways I feel about it.
Here are my top three most popular blog posts from 2015.
This was my third most popular blog post this year! I wrote it back in August, when my kid was only three months old. We were in and out of the hospital, and the doctor’s office, pretty much constantly (for both of us) and while I was totally exhausted, I was also noticing all of the pressure to use as many gender markers as possible.
So we pushed back against that pressure. And I wrote about it. And it seems like maybe people liked it.
The second most popular post of 2015 is from December, which somehow surprises me, but maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe readership is just going up in general? I don’t know. But I like this post. It was hard to write, which for me, seems like it’s often the mark of really good stuff happening. It’s when you really have to sit with it and work through it and try to wrap your head around it all that the magic happens.
We moved into a small apartment. I loved it. But I also needed to deal with the fact that I still felt like rejecting the nuclear family model was/is an important part of my life.
And honestly? I’m still struggling with these ideas. How do we find the balance between fierce idealism and practicality? How do we live as members of a larger community – rather than in familial isolation – when we have a needy infant who just wants to stay on his schedule? When we live in a city with extremely dysfunctional public transit? It’s easier to stay home. I hate that it’s easier to stay home. It’s easier to stay home. Please come over.
“Who is the mom? Oh we both are. Full stop.”
This is literally the most read piece ever on Post Nuclear Era. It continues to shock me. That’s one of the things about creating things though, is so often you can’t predict what is going to resonate with people.
I wrote this piece fast. I wrote it angry. I posted it with typos because I knew if I stopped to do a better edit I wouldn’t hit that “publish” button. If you had asked me to predict what would happen with it, I would have said that it would either be a throw away piece, a drop in the bucket, just something that was up on the blog that a couple of people read (hey, it happens sometimes!) or it would piss people off and I would get backlash. Why was I being so mean and judgmental? They were all just trying to be nice. And while I’m sure that some people definitely disagreed with my take, I only happened upon one of those people. ONE.
What I did see, though, was more and more friends sharing it. And then it got picked up by Ravishly. And I have literally no idea how many people read it over there.
But it’s a really good feeling, y’all, when your angry rants mean something to someone else. It’s real good.
And here’s my personal favorite.
You Have To Guess – Pronouns For Babies
I adore this one. I loved writing it. I loved the little moment that inspired it.
A few more minutes passed, and then the older boy said “but how can you tell that it’s a boy?”
It was a loaded question for me. Some of my closest friends are transgender, as is my child’s generous sperm donor. I am constantly aware that any identity we put on him may be discarded by him at any time in favor of something else. His other mother and I, we are just his parents, we don’t own him. He may not be a boy. He could be a girl, or even something else. That is ok with me because I love him for who he is, I love him just for showing up to this amazing world, not for any particulars about him that I pretend to know.
I looked at the child standing in front of me “well, you have to guess.”
Seriously. So great. And we keep on guessing. And it keeps not mattering. And we keep dressing him in all the colors. And we keep trying to be humble and ready to change directions whenever, if ever, he needs us to.
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Looking ahead to 2016, where are we going? Well obviously we are going to keep talking shit about the nuclear family structure, keep trying to be as intersectional as possible, keeping learning and trying to be humble. And when I say “we” I mean “I am going to try to do these things, but also I hope you’ll join me.”
Apart from that, I have a few post nuclear resolutions.
In 2016 I will:
1. Do my damnedest to get a post up every single week, on Friday. Seriously. I am bad at this and I want to do better. Barring that, I pledge to at least three posts a month. Hold me to this!
2. Make a donate button. I don’t expect to make a bunch of money off you all, but lets be real. This is work. This is also an anticapitalist space, and I want to keep it that way. I will not be selling anything here. But. If you are able, and you want to, you should be able to contribute to my glamorous lifestyle as an internet writer. I will make it so!
3. Not shy away from tough subjects! Y’all, watch out. The vaccine post, it’s gonna happen one of these days. I even have notes!
4. Add at least one cat picture to every blog post. Because I care. Really I do.
That’s it for looking back and looking ahead, then. Happy New Year, and Happy My Wife’s Birthday, to you all! I’ll see you next time.
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